Just One Night

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Only to have it taken, no, snatched away by Yoongi. I told you, you can leave.

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Just go. But instead of cowering away from it, he snapped. A week worth of repressed emotions and barely concealed sadness had him a little numb to the pain. The way Yoongi spoke to him, seemed to ignite something in him, the numbness slowly burned away to be replaced by something else.

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Why do you want me to leave so bad? Are you that disgusted by what happened last week?

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Jimin could feel the tears pooling in his eyes. He hated this part of him. Hated how his anger choked him up, heat shimmering at the back of his throat, how his voice cracked, his face flushed and teard threatened to spill every time his anger overwhelmed him. People always interpreted that as a weakness. And Jimin hated that. Not a crying slobbering face spitting fire at you. For some reason showing emotions out of anger is interpreted as weak and violent actions provoked by anger considered strong.

Why didn't people understand that it took a great deal of strength to let your tears flow? It took a great deal of strength to be that vulnerable. Disgusted by you? Hate you? Jimin what the hell are you going on about? Need me to spell out everything for you? You regret it ever did.

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Yoongi didn't say a word. Jimin took that as an affirmative. All the anger left him all at once. It didn't take much to anger him and it took even less to calm him down. Although in this case he was more defeated than calm. After the anger left him all he was left with sadness and longing. Longing for something he could obviously never have.

A longing that would soon transition into numbness. You could never disgust me. Shoulders slumped, head hanging. He looked tired, sad. Jimin didn't understand why. He didn't even look at Jimin anymore. The tears came in earnest now and Jimin didn't make any effort to stop them. Yoongi looked up. Seeing Jimin cry he frantically got up and reached towards Jimin as if to engulf the younger but stopped at the last second. He couldn't help the sobs breaking from his lips anymore.

But listen to me, Jimin.

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Yoongi sounded firm, something steely in his voice. Regret that night? Thought about how soft your lips would feel against mine, wondered if they were just as plump to the touch as they looked. Jimin lets him because he was a little awestruck right now to make any sudden of movement. I was avoiding you because it was all I could do to control myself from telling you how I really feel.

Honestly, ever since that kiss all I can think about is you. You were always my favorite member, my favorite voice from the very beginning.


Something about you that kept pulling me close, kept me gravitating to you. I was content being close to you and it helped that you enjoyed my company as well. It took a lot of effort and a lot of time for me to admit to myself that I was in love with you. And it just grew over the years as I got to know you in all your kindness and empathy.

Jimin, the sheer volume of wine I drank to get you out of my mind. But it never helped. So I decided to love you from afar. I decided to give you everything I had without asking for anything in return. But the kiss, it changed some things. Gave me a glimmer of hope that you might feel the same. It made me want to confess even more, made me want to lay myself bare and let you be the one who decides. But, a part of me still believed it was nothing but a drunken mistake on your part. And the latter part of me won.

I thought if I kept my distance for a while and got better control of my feelings I could talk to you normally again. That was my week-long frustration finally getting the better of him.

Yoongi raised his head to look at Jimin and nodded. Jimin smiled, eyes scrunching, heart soaring. But all those little things about you, all those late-night talks, coffee runs at 2am when you and I would be the only ones in the company, meant the world to me.

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Before I could help myself I was falling for you. I told Tae a few months back and he convinced me to give it a shot. That night I was finally planning on telling you how I felt. And you, hyung you ran away right after. It just took me off guard. One moment I was thinking of your lips and the next they were on mine. I ran away because of how close I was to holding you tight and not letting you go, deepening the kiss.

That whole speech? The momentum somehow sprawling them both on the couch with Yoongi lying on top of a prone Jimin. That brought a tingling laughter to Jimins lips.

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